friendships

[okay this post is gonna be on the complete opposite side of the spectrum from my previous post... but here it goes anyway!]

So I was looking through my drawer in my room today, and I stumbled upon this picture frame binder thingy that Catherin had put together for me before I left for Taiwan last year. It was filled with pictures and notes from friends, and as I was reading through all of them, I couldn't help but be really, really, really humbled, grateful, and also challenged. I've been really fortunate to have such an awesome support group always surrounding me, from fighting through college with me, to sending me off to Taiwan with such love, to celebrating Culinary school achievements with me. In the little day-to-day conversations to even giant gifts like a stand mixer for my bday or an ice cream maker for graduating, I can only wonder how I ever became a recipient of such grace.

To be honest, I feel like I've done a pretty bad job keeping up with friendships these past 6 months. Maybe it's because of the emotional drain that the breakup took, my busy class+work schedule, my own jadedness and laziness, or a combination of lots of factors, but in any case, I could have done a lot more to be selfless in investing in and serving those around me. I definitely haven't challenged myself to keep in touch with old friends or to dig deeper in certain conversations and friendships, and looking at those old sentimental notes that people wrote only makes this stark contrast even clearer. I really fear a day when I look around and discover that no one is involved in my life, and I am involved in no one else's life, all because we stopped trying in our friendships. That would be ... terrible.

So I guess two convictions from this whole experience:

1) Be thankful for the people that I have in my life and really show them that I cherish them.

2) Stop being so selfish and love people! Serve them to the best of my ability!

And lastly, thanks. Thank you to those who have ever been my friend. I really, really am ever so thankful for you.

angry rant

I hope this post doesn't offend anyone, and I don't mean to make general claims about the general population because I have plenty of awesome Korean friends that I cherish deeply... If you ARE Korean and don't want to read my angry rant, maybe you should stop here.

It's nothing new that some Koreans are/can be pretty racist and exclusive. I've tried to be pretty tolerant of how exclusive they can be, from times when they bust out into Korean in front of me, to making references about Korean dramas or famous pop stars, to whatever, but today I was pretty peeved by my experience at H-Mart.

Post missions trip to Yanji and post vacation to Seattle, I've grown an immense love for Korean food and even the Korean language. I was only telling Esther the other day that if I could be any other nationality/race, I would want to be Korean (with maybe some South American culture like Brazilian being a close second). I admire the passion of the Korean missionaries that I've met, am encouraged by the fervor with which the Korean Ministry services worship at Sunday service, think that Korean food tastes absolutely wonderful (recently discovered wrapping sam gyap sahl (fatty pork) in pickled radish. YUM), and think that older Korean ladies take care of themselves better than Chinese ladies (maybe you can just call it vanity..) But in any case, being Korean could be pretty cool.

So when I offered to cook Korean food for dinner tonight for my family, I was really excited and ventured off to H-Mart to get some groceries. As soon as I stepped into the store, I felt sooo ostracized being a young, Chinese girl, surrounded by all these Korean moms and grandmas. It was nothing they said or did, but I could just feel the wall of divide. There was a lady cooking sam gyap sahl and wrapping it with stuffs as samples for customers, and she heartily advertised it through her microphone headset, but only in Korean! I stood right next to the table as she made a wrap and handed it to a mom and her son, and as soon as they left, she went back to cooking her meat without paying any attention to me. I stood there staring at her for a solid 20 seconds, expecting her to offer me some (b/c after all, that IS her job), but she never once looked up at me. Finally, I asked to try some (in English), and she hastily tore off the smallest piece of lettuce to wrap some meat, and handed it to me. As soon as I left the table, she advertised some more and then went out of her way to hand some to some other Korean ladies (who didn't seem that interested to try some).

For the rest of the time I was in H-Mart, I was pretty annoyed. I brought my items to check out, and the cashier at my station was this Korean boy who looked like he was in his mid 20s, jabbering away in Korean to his friend, who was bagging the groceries. The lady in front of me was a latina lady, and she and I both got the same treatment from the cashier -- he pretty much ignored us! What bad customer service!

This is but a small example of how I feel like Koreans can be exclusive and racist, giving preferential treatment to people of their own race and being pretty inconsiderate to people of other races. It's really sad to say this, but I must admit that I (and other non-Koreans) feel this way at church, too. ESPECIALLY in a body of believers should you see no favoritism or superiority or whatever, but a;lsdkjfa;slkdfja it makes me so angry to see it happen.

Even if people don't intentionally mean to hurt other peoples' feelings, it inevitably ends up happening... I just really, really, really hope that this next generation of Koreans start to embrace change and embrace other cultures because we can all learn from and live with each other in unity, ya?

Ode to Oikos

(written by the very talented Mr. Peter Lee)

“Ode to Oikos”

Now, this is the story all about how
Our lives got flipped-turned upside down
And I'd like to take a minute
Just listen and see
I'll tell you about Oikos at RWC.

In sunny Philadelphia these ladies went to school,
Minna and Steph they both love glee, Gaga and food.
We have Jen the nurse and Briana the writer,

Seth works on a ship, Earl pulls all-nighters.

Mike wears shorts, even when it’s cold,

Joe prefers his Iphone over the Blackberry Bold.

Nancy makes pastries that are deliciously sweet,

Jackie speaks softly and commutes far with her feet.

Albert is a foodie, and works in finance,

Grace hooks up discounts for his really fancy pants.

Both Lizzes design with such skill and much flair,

One works with cakes, the other with lambs hair.

Jean is a pro-dancer and really enjoys eating,

Dave and Chris finished school and all that fun reading.

We miss our youngest member Ethan, especially his smile,

Congrats to Ray and Julia, who are expecting yet another child.

Rich prepares sermons every week for his youth,

Josh loves baseball, and although injured, hits like Babe Ruth.

Speaking of old players, that guy Peter is up there in age,

His co-pilot Ali, thinks leather shorts are all the rage.

So this is your small group family,

this is the group called Oikos

Although our time together ends

Memories will surely not be lost.

May God bless you all immensely,

And still be central to living,

Pray. Worship. Praise.

And don’t forget about giving.

As we leave this place, #448, unit 10D

We’ll remember the worship and playing the Wii.

Finally, thank you for the caring and all the fervent prayers,

For all the sweet snacks, and cakes with many layers.

Its time to say goodbye, please do not shed any tears,

You will always be Oikos family, much more than just peers.

prayer request

I really need a LOT of prayer for the next 10 days. I don't know how I'm going to accomplish everything (and do it WELL) for my 4-day final. It's a little ridiculous what they expect me to pull off, given the nasty weather conditions (which are going to make my showpiece unstable, my food yucky, and working conditions unbearable). I don't get it...I almost had a mini breakdown planning out my 4-day itinerary and sketching out my showpiece.

So yeah. I need prayer.

wise words from a wise woman

"when God calls you to go, you can't keep looking back." -- my sister

one thing i've come to realize....

...is that we don't pray with and for each other nearly enough.

can't waitttt!!!

omgomg, can't WAIT to get on' with my travels post graduating!!! Esther's going to take me CAMPINGGGGGG in Seattle (I haven't been camping in a DECADE! or so it feels like...), and then when I get back to LA, momzers and pops will have just gotten back from the motherland...which means -- AWESOME FOOD & lots of presents!!! And of course, just getting to chill out and reboot before this next year of c r a z i n e s s. yes. let me tell you now. CRAZINESS! but yeah. VACATION in 12 days!!!!! :D :D :D

The Waiting Game

A few months ago, Jason asked me to help him out with a film he was making, and as terrible of an actress that I am, I ignored that for the sake of a good cause! For each view of this short film, five cents will be donated to Liberty in North Korea!!! So support the cause, support the Jubilee Project, and support me! hehehe....

(PS - some sidenotes to keep an eye for, AFTER you've already watched if for the first time.

Walking on that fountain was SUPER slippery, which is why my footing might look awkward.

The watch was a little bit big was so we had to rubberband it together. Hopefully you can't see it though...hehehe

It was actually kind of chilly outside...After the film shoot I kinda couldn't text properly.

The ring that is featured is actually mine...When Jason asked Minna if she had any engagement-style-rings that he could borrow, her response was "why would any girl have a ring that looks like an engagement ring?!?!" Luckily, I do... hahaha)

making you happy makes me happy

Lately, I've been thinking a LOT about what I want to do after I graduate... more fine dining restaurants, a bakery, or a management position? I really have NO Idea!!! It's a little bit stressful trying to decide because part of me really fears making the "wrong decision" that, as my dad wholeheartedly believes in, will screw up my future forever.

So anyway...these past two days was our "menu project" final exam in which we presented 2 original plated desserts to the chef. The two desserts that he chose off of my "yin-yang, cooling&warming" 11-item menu for my makebelieve restaurant was

1. a 'cooling' cabonated cucumber soup with mint-infused watermelon, watermelon sorbet, and a mint meringue; and

2. a 'warming' spice cheesecake with a gingersnap cookie crust and brown sugar-candied walnuts, served with longans in kuromitsu syrup and a hot cup of black ginger tea.

(I also plated up some mango panna cotta with coconut milk as an amuse bouche and some green tea macaroons as petit fours b/c I had the time to spare and to earn some extra bonus points...hehehe).

SO after my chefs tasted my desserts and graded me, some classmates rushed over to my table to try my desserts. Upon eating my cheesecake, one of my classmates made one of those wide-eyed "OMG" faces and was like "Nancy, this is SO good. This is probably ... no, this IS the best cake I've ever had in my life." [takes a few more bites]. "OMG. Eating this makes me all happy inside!"

I don't think I've felt that warm&fuzzy inside either in a long, long time. I've forgotten how much joy it brings me to watch someone eat something I produce and respond with nothing less than speechlnessness or wide smiles. THIS is why I bake, and THIS is why I absolutely love feeding people. I love love love seeing people get really excited and really happy about eating good food. Her compliment to me totally made my week, hahaha... So yeah, whatever I end up doing after graduating, I really hope that part of it involves me making people feel all happy inside by feeding them bomb food.

PS -- here's what I made. :)

my graduation wishlist :)

My classmate had this genius idea of putting everything he wanted (but couldn't afford with the measly salary we get as cooks) onto a wishlist, in case people wanted to buy a graduation gift for him.

Here's mine! *nudge nudge*......................... ^_^

http://amzn.com/w/332YKEO8MQNEE

+ giftcard to Sur La Table, Williams-Sonoma, NY Cake & Bake .......

#1 WANT -- ICE CREAM MAKER!

#2 WANT -- the torch!!

#3 WANT -- the cookbooks :)

HAHA. I honestly don't know if anyone's going to actually take me seriously. Figured I'd put it out there though =P

incredible.

what a crazy story. what an even crazier God we believe in.

prayer

God, please help me to find more joy and purpose where you have placed me. Give me the strength, creativity, and endurance to finish my last 11 days of school strong, and open the right doors and close the doors that are not aligned for the plans you have for my life. You know what's best for me -- help me to trust you. Continually remind me of the convictions you have placed in my heart for restoring Your creation to its rightful state, of calling the nations to Your praise, and of abandoning it all for the sake of Your call. Help me to never lose sight of the eternal implications of my actions here on Earth, lest the worries of this world or the selfishness of my flesh prevent me from experiencing the fullness of joy of joining you in Your kingdom work. You are what is worth living for, not me.