my 2AM bedtime

yar.

I can't wait to go home...2 more days. then 3 full days of sleeping in and eating good food and hanging out w/ the fambam.

then back to the grind.

Class is great. Work is awesome. I'm just really tired....

yar.

breathe

To use an analogy from exercising...: I've been doing this workout called !Insanity, and in the videos, the instructor is always telling us to remember to breathe. We're always taking deep breaths in and deep breaths out during the stretching time as our bodies go through recovery periods. Sometimes throughout the workout though, I'll get so caught up keeping up with the exercises that I forget to breathe, and my body suddenly gets really tired. But, when he reminds us to breathe and I take a moment to finally let out all that stale air and replenish my cells with fresh air, my body gets a boost of energy again. It tastes oh so sweet when that crisp, clean oxygen fills my depleted lungs.

It's like that with life. Over the past.... (I can't even place a date), I've been feeling really busy. I've really come to notice the detrimental effects it has been having on my life these past few weeks when things got busier with the start of work and people graduating and whatnot. My schedule always manages to get filled with something, and I come home late, exhausted, with no time to process anything. It's go go go, do do do, cook cook cook, allllll day long. The conversation I had with a friend last week really set something off in my brain, and I realized more and more that I really lost sight of who I am. I got so caught up doing that I forgot to let out all that stale air and replenish it with some fresh air.

Today, I think I was very close to a mental overload-induced-breakdown. Yesterday, after a week of being sick, a day of stressing over my pastillage cake stand project, hanging out with my relatives who are visiting, celebrating two different birthdays, then watching a movie with my old&current roommates, I fell asleep around 1:30 thinking about the upcoming 7 days and all of its busyness. On my way to meet my cousin&aunt&uncle this morning, I realized that I had a lot to do today, and I was wondering how I could possibly juggle everything that I personally had to take care of along with hanging out w/ them all day. After a loooong day of walking around the city, I told my relatives I couldn't eat dinner with them, and scooted home around 5 to collapse on my bed. It was a weird sensation when I woke up from my nap -- it felt like my brain had died and turned into mush, along with my muscles. Pretty scary....I'm still the process of letting out all that stale air and replenishing it with fresh air. It might take a few days to recover...

Anyway, moral to my story: Breathe. Slow down. I think I have this bad, bad, notion that the value of my life is directly correlated to how much I accomplish every day. But, today, God reminded me that taking the sabbath is a command He gives us-- and for good reason! It's for our own good. The sabbath was created for man, for us to be able to enjoy God. (Mark 2; Psalm 23) It's all interconnected -- the more I am in tune with God, the more I am in tune with myself. Maybe once I realign the rhythm of my life to take my sabbath-time seriously, I can get back on the track to rediscovering myself, along with getting my body&mind back up to 100% health.

(PS - There are a lot of links in this post -- a sermon by Matt Chandler about taking the sabbath, an article that was shared on greader, bible passages.... take a look and a listen! :] )

pleasant surprise deja vu

As you may (or may not) recall from my post while I was in Taiwan, I had absolutely no expectation of being paid for my work there, especially since the boss was doing me a favor in letting me even come. But one day, a month into the job, the HR lady told me in a very "duh" tone, "of COURSE you're getting paid! Don't be silly." It wasn't much -- a measly $2.50 USD / hour, at best, but it was still God's grace, in paper form ;)

Yesterday, while at work, the HR guy happens to walk by the pastry dept., not even intending to talk to any of us, but he accidentally mistakes me as someone else, and upon realizing that I'm not that person, asks "who is that?"

My sous-chef responds, "Oh, that's Nancy. She's our new extern."

"What?! How long has she been here?"

"Oh, about three weeks?"

"How did I not know about this? She was supposed to have filled out paperwork three weeks ago then. Nancy, can I talk to you?"

HR guy: "I'm sorry that you have to be caught up in this, but I just want to make sure we do things the right way. [blah blah blah],... and we have to make sure we pay you, even if it is minimum wage"

Me, thinking: "whaaaaaaaaa???? interns get paid?!?!?! COOL!"

I met with him today to complete the paperwork, and turns out I'm going to get paid for the 3 weeks of work that I already completed! He was right though -- it is just minimum wage, but still, considering I totally wasn't expecting to get paid (and I KNOW that my classmates in other internships don't get paid), I'm so thankful for God's grace, in paper form yet again. :)

becoming robotic?

Hm. So I had a verryy interesting conversation with a friend tonight about life, but more specifically, church, and it made me think. a lot. about a lot of things...(which I shall articulate in blog-form at a later time, hopefully)

I'm still processing through all that was said, but one thing that I think hit me was that I definitely don't think as much I used to. I've developed this habit of just accepting things as they are and not challenging myself to look beyond the surface and critically ask if everything is actually okay for everyone involved. Life got routine, I got comfortable, and maybe that's when I stopped caring as much and just went with the flow. But sadly, I feel like a part of me, me, died, and I turned into this robotic being that has default feelings and responses to situations...

Where did Nancy go?! I must figure out how I can see the world outside the lines I've colored in before I lose all sense of humanness.

tears of the saints

watch it. now.

Tears of the Saints from HistoryMaker on Vimeo.

"go, send, or disobey" -- JPiper

RWC has launched a new blog dedicated to educating the church about missions.

http://rwcmissions.tumblr.com/

Read it, subscribe to it, contribute to it, but most importantly, get involved with the work that God is doing in the nations. The mandate is still here. We are still called to carry forth His great commission. Let's not forget this, nor let one another forget.

oh-TEN!

Congratulations to the Class of 2010!!!! Four incredible years of seeing y'all grow, mature, be stretched, and turn into men and women of God...I feel so privileged.

Go get 'em, tigers (and tigresses).

starting off as fresh meat

then hitting the sophomore slump

finally upgraded to upperclassmen status

and now finally GRADUATES!!!

(I kinda wanna write a more comprehensive post about your class....but I can't decide if I will or not... Senior night was kinda already it. But we'll see...)

looking back and looking forward

I get in these weird moods of wanting to look through old pictures every so often, and tonight was one of those nights... Looking through pictures from spring of my junior year (after coming back from Shanghai study abroad) to my senior year, I was amazed, even shocked, by how much had changed from them to now, which really was only 2 years ago! Life changes sooo much all the time. It's hard for me to keep up!

Honestly, when I look through those pictures sometimes I wish I could go back to those times before people left and life changed... but at the same time, I am reminded that through everything, God has been super super faithful. So with all the changes that have yet to come in life, although I might be a little freaked out, I know my God will still be faithful.

personalized embosser

Williams-Sonoma sells this nifty difty personalized embosser that you can use with stickers and foil tags, both of which come in several nifty difty colors. It's $40 for the embosser, $8.50 for 100 stickers, and $15 for 24 tags. I'm reaallyyy tempted to buy the "kitchen of ...." one because I think it would add a totally classy feel to any gifts that I give to people.

Culinary students get a 20% off discount in-store, but because they only sell this embosser online/via catalog, I tried calling headquarters and asking for the discount. I was desperate, even to the point of "if I buy it online and bring in the receipt to the store, can they give me money back?" They told me to try asking the retail store, which I did... The lady was super nice and said that although they've never done it before, I could try coming into the store and ordering through their computer system, which had that 20% off discount option... I would still have to pay for shipping.

In any case, this whole situation reminds me of the time that I spent hours and hours and days and days daydreaming and trying to get that Martha Stewart craft punch (which lemme tell ya, was TOTALLY worth it. I love it so much...)

But yes. I want this. Really badly.

OK. I realize that I sound kinda crazy caring that much about getting my 20% off discount, even if it only turns out to be $10. Really, it's the principle of the matter. If I can get a discount in-store, why shouldn't I be able to get it with products I purchase online?! Besides, if I get it for cheaper, I won't feel as guilty about buying it . . . =]

nobu57!

I start Wednesday :)