anyone order for delivery?

I'm glad there was a box of leftover pizza for Dan to take home...

"There's absolutely no way I can hold this without looking like a delivery boy!"

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

not our own

For none of us lives to himself alone and none of us dies to himself alone. If we live, we live to the Lord; and if we die, we die to the Lord. So, whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord.

Romans 14:7-8

心想事成

Yay for snow day! Not only did I get to take a break from classes and take a breather, but I finally got a chance to call my chef from Taiwan and catch up with him. (yay for cheap Skype calls!) He had tried calling me before, but because of the 13-hr time difference, he always ended up calling while I was in class.

Although class was superrrr fun and exciting when I first started, this past weeks' classes have been a lot tougher. Maybe it's because God really is trying to humble me, maybe it's because we move at a much faster pace now, or maybe it's because the "honeymoon" feeling of culinary school has worn off and I now realize that this is still school with grades, pressure, deadlines, etc. In any case, it's been a rough start to the week.

Talking to my chef was really good. He told me, "It's okay if you don't always do well all the time. Just take things slow. Make sure you have a plan of what you have to do before you actually start anything, otherwise you won't succeed. Remember to keep a happy attitude at class or work. Be more joyful. This way, your work won't feel like such a burden. And as for the hours you have to put in every day and the strain that it might put on your friends and family -- you get used to it. You and your family. It'll all be okay in the end. Don't worry so much! Don't be so nervous. Just stay happy and remember to take things slow. You're in no rush for anything. Put your mind to it, and I know you'll succeed.

"Also, most importantly, don't be afraid of suffering or hardships."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Just don't be afraid of it!"

And finally, it made sense to me. Why should I be so afraid of going through hardships? As I think about class, work, life..., I guess I realize that hardships are and will be part of the whole package. God tells us to endure hardship, to rejoice in suffering (Heb 12:7, Rom 5:3), and for a good reason. It does build discipline, character, perseverance -- all things that are good to have. So for me, the (constructive) criticism I receive or mistakes I make will only help me learn what it takes and how to get to that point where I can be a better chef, student, person... Without making those mistakes, how would I ever learn and improve?

He ended the conversation wishing me a happy new year and "心想事成" which, badly translated means "may what you think about in your heart come true", which though may just be another line you tell people after 'happy new year', is a challenge and an encouragement for me to keep persevering, through hardship and all.

my struggle

There is one particular sin that is probably at the deepest root of my heart-- one that oftentimes drives my actions, thoughts, and even personality. . . It's no secret to anyone who knows me, and it's definitely something that I have been trying to battle against all throughout my life.

Pride.

When pride hits, there's a dual action going on, one being that I view myself pretty highly, and two being that I view others pretty lowly. It's a very disgusting and ugly truth to realize about myself, and when I see it come out, I just feel dirty all over.

My journey through undergrad at Stern was definitely an interesting time that God humbled me and my naive dreams of becoming the next hot-shot corporate CEO -- He humbled me through grades, career choices, classmate/friends, and even through a simple disinterest in all things finance. I think that God really helped shield me from pride because I didn't really envy my banker friends or feel a need to compare myself to them -- I knew I wasn't meant for that track.

But now, in culinary school, I'm facing this challenge of pride in a much stronger way. Baking is something that I actually enjoy and am good at. It's hard not to place a certain identity or confidence and satisfaction in the work that I do, especially because I feel like this is one of those "things" that make me, me.

In my class of 22 students, I am usually the first person to finish all of the tasks, and 4 of my classmates have also told me "wow, you're really fast!" When I see my other classmates' products, I can't help but feel that I am more talented, better at multi-tasking, and a faster worker than they are. When I give my products to friends to eat, their exclamation of "wow, this is really good!" only heightens my regard of myself.

Throughout this entire past week, I think 75% of my conversations with people (not close close friends, but just people I see maybe once a week @ sg/fellowship) have revolved around culinary school, food, etc. And this, too, also feeds into my pride. When all I do every day and all I talk about every day is baking and culinary school, it becomes really easy to love and to feed on this feeling of self-exaltation.

Yesterday, at small group, we were talking about sin, and though the topic wasn't pertaining to pride specifically, I think God was really challenging me to examine where my heart had been. In Luke 14:11, He says that "for everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted." I had been exalting myself and letting others exalt me too, and though it was satisfying in the moment, minutes later I would feel sooooo dirty. Aggghhhh even as I write this now, my pride disgusts me sooo much I don't even want to write out the full offences that I've committed against God.

I don't want to have everyone look at me in this "ooooh, ahhhh" kind of way. I don't want to look at my classmates in a "I'm so much better than you" way. And most of all, I don't want to forget that God is the giver of all good gifts, and just as He so easily gives, He can just as easily take away. Baking and food and my talent should never become my god. I want to be able to use my baking as a means through which I can help share the love of God with others, but if my pride is going to become the god that people worship, then I've failed. Mikey once (or several times...) said that "there is no place for God in the kitchen." It's sooo true, and I'm realizing it more every day. If I am going to walk around class exalting myself, where is the Gospel in that?

So until I feel like I will not be tempted to let myself or my food become my god (or your god), I will not be posting anything about culinary school or baking. I'm taking the "#3 step of addressing sin" (from Bible study yesterday) and separating myself from it. Also, if you see me and want to talk to me about classes and stuff, please help keep me accountable to how I talk about culinary school. Thanksssss.

Tarts tarts tarts galore!

It's amazing how much material and many recipes we cover each day! The start of this week has been pretty good, as we've had many lectures on sanitation (I can't look at ground beef the same ever again), rolled many tarts shells, and made lots of fun fillings.

This is a banana cream tart (tarte aux bananas et creme). The tart shell is a pate sucree (sweet tart dough), filled with creme legere (which is a mixture of pastry cream (creme patissiere), heavy whipping cream, and some rum for good fun) folded with some bananas. We piped some rosettes out of creme chantilly on top.

My chef said that my rosettes looked more like soft-serve swirls -_- (that's not a good thing).

Tarte aux fruits frais -- Fresh Fruit Tart

In all honesty, I think this has got to be one the yummiest fruit tarts I've ever tasted (and yummiest things I've ever made). Technically I'm not allowed to say "yummy" anymore because we are sophisticated chefs who should comment on the look, texture, flavor, smell, etc... But seriously guys, it's YUMMALICIOUS. This is a pate sucree shell blind-baked with some creme d'amande (almond cream, which is a mixture of almond paste, butter, eggs, etc), then spread with a layer of creme patissiere on top. We had more practice with knife skills, making orange supremes, cutting strawberries, kiwis, etc... I think my favorite part of this tart is eating the bite with the orange -- the slightly acidic orange complements the creamy almond cream REALLY well.

This is the Pear and Almond Tart, Bourdaloue Style (Tarte Bourdaloue). We poached the pears in a syrup made out of wine, sugar, lemon juice, and vanilla beans. We rolled out a flaky pate brisee (but I rolled mine too thin, so I had to use a traditional sweet cookie-like pate sucree instead), then baked it with almond cream and the fanned-out poached pears on top, sprinkled with some slivered almonds. Also super yum.

We also baked some gingersnap cookies (pictured bottom left corner) (but only got to keep 5...the school gives away the rest to customers at L'Ecole -- another reason to eat a meal there). The girl across from me didn't want to take her tart home, so I asked her if i could take it.... She willingly obliged and I happily packed it away into my tupperware! YAY. Hahahaha....So I came home with 2.75 tarts, 5 cookies, and 2 large bags under my eyes (as you can see in the picture.......)

Much, much more to come in the next few days.....