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I need to fully grasp the meaning of this statement: "I am a sinner saved by grace."

stress stress go away!

I need to get rid of stress, for many, many, many reasons. I'm surprised at how much of my life is affected by stress. I don't think I even realize how my stress level influences countless aspects of my mental, physical, and emotional health. 

Why am I stressed? Honestly, I don't really know. I manage it by getting 8 hours of sleep a night, go to the gym 3x a week, eat a pretty healthy, balanced diet, and make sure I do "fun" stuff like bake, shop, chill out outside. And yet, even with classes only 2 days/week and stuff, I'm still not at peace.

Someone shed some light on my situation? Thanks. 

The power of moisturizing!!!!

A few weeks ago, some members of my missions team got into a conversation about whether we moisturize our skin every day after we shower. Susan does, and we compared her skin to someone who didn't. I wouldn't have expected this, but her skin actually was notably softer! (There was also a comment made about the butt being the most important part to be moisturized, but that conversation can be saved for later)

I never really lotioned my body after showering every day because I didn't really think that it would make that much of a difference for my skin. Plus, I'm kinda lazy. But, after coming back from Puerto Rico (lots of harmful sun) and now being back in this dry, wintry weather, I've decided to give my skin some pampering. And boy, let me tell you ... it makes a HUGE difference!! My skin is so much softer, and the complexion looks much healthier as well.

I bought a new moisturizer today from Whole Foods, the Kiss My Face Chinese Botanical ultra moisturizer ;) It's really light and non-greasy, and already I feel my skin absorbing all the nutrients! Yay for super soft, healthy-looking skin! Next time, I'm gonna buy lotion with SPF in time for summer to keep my skin protected from harmful rays.  Yaaaaaay! 

today's conviction

Today, I almost fainted while working out. My head was spinning like crazy, I could barely breathe, and I definitely thought I was going to black out. Thankfully I didn't... (I wasn't exerting too much energy, nor am I out of shape, but a more probable explaination may be something due to dehydration of lack of calorie-consumption the day before.) After telling a friend about this, he said that he got these same feelings after exerting all his energy in every race in high school. I wondered, "why in the world would you want to put yourself through that pain? Doesn't it just make you scared for how hard you can push yourself next time around?" His response was that he wouldn't feel satisfied unless he felt that way, especially if his team didn't win and he knew he had some energy left unused.

This is a bit tangental, but since I'm currently going through a period of seeking what it means to live a more purposeful life, it's only natural that all thoughts & experiences relate back to this ongoing struggle. (so sorry if this doesn't really connect in your minds..hehe) I'm wondering if maybe today's near-fainting disaster is God trying to rebuke me for not exerting more energy towards doing His work. When was the last time that I really felt as if I had given everything I had to the Lord... and in the end, wasn't it worth it? Will I get to Heaven one day and look back at all that I held back and get frustrated with myself or regret that I had reserved some energy for the purely selfish goal of comfort?

I have a few verses posted up on my desk, and even though I see them every day, they've sadly grown to be just "wallpaper" that I see and ignore. But now they speak truth into my life once again:

1 Corinthians 15:58 says "Therefore, my dear brothers, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain."

Another verse, from Acts 20:24, says "However, I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me - the task of testifying to the gospel of God's grace."

Yeap...time to get a' crackin...

friends are not forever...

Today, I found out that two pretty key people in my church might leave New York soon due to job situation stuffs... I think I had always just assumed that everyone would stick around, but today it finally really hit me. People are going to leave.

Danny was the first one, and it definitely hasn't been the same without him. My dear Lilo is leaving soon, and the more I talk about it the more both of us get sad. Flo might go to Scotland, JPai is definitely off to law school elsewhere, people that I've grown accustomed to seeing on a weekly basis will soon be hundreds and thousands of miles away... and this is probably just the start of a bigger wave of an exodus out of New York City. Whether it's because we're growing up, because there are fewer jobs available in the city, or whatever else, sticking around just isn't as implicit as it used to be...

Lilo & I had a really sad conversation leaving DP today about the circles of friends that we make.. Leaving high school friends is really difficult, but there are always the summer vacations and family that keep us grounded in that city. College friends create relationships that should last for life, but unless you end up living&working in the same place post-grad, chances are the closeness will decrease exponentially. You try to find a new circle of friends in each next stage of life, but as you make new friends each time around, you start to become more closed off because of the disillusionment attached with the lack of constancy and the tiredness of making and maintaning new friendships... Then once you get married / have kids, your family takes up a huge chunk of your life, and soon you have very very few close peer friends.

This course of life just seems so .... sad.

I feel like this post doesn't really convey all that I want to say or the sadness that I feel, but maybe it's something that you have to discover and learn for yourself, because as much as I hear people tell me that change is inevitable, I don't really feel the magnitude of it until I am immersed in the transience of relationships, environment, etc...

:(