some perks of working in a kitchen

During work yesterday, I had a craving for some rice, so what did I do? I put some rice on the stove, fried up some eggs&veggies, and made myself, (my chef, and my team) some fried rice...hahaha. Then I made a smoothie out of the pineapple, mango, and apple scrap that I had. =P Granted, I don't always have the luxury of having the time to whip up something random to eat whenever I get hungry, but it IS nice having ingredients lying around waiting to be used...

my favorite moments

at dinner tonight, a (non-Christian) friend of a friend mentioned that her favorite times in life were eating good food in the presence of good company, and as much as I wanted to nod and agree with her, I couldn't, because as much as I do love good food&good company, I knew that the downright sweetest moments in my life have been those times of worship, rest, prayer, and pure enjoyment in the presence of my God. There's nothing like it.

oh, to dine at the table with my King.

how I long to live in your house, O Lord.

baking and me

I told myself that I didn't want to work in a kitchen anymore post-Daniel, but now that the end-date of my 2-year-long culinary pursuit is soon coming to an end, I'm actually getting kinda bummed... It's been really, really fun learning all the secrets to food-making and fidgeting around with my own concoctions, and even more fun eating it all! Culinary school was super interesting and exciting, and thinking about how hard I tried (and all of the success I did experience through it all) makes me wonder if I'll regret leaving this all behind soon... top of the class, outstanding final projects, outstanding GPA, landing jobs at Nobu57 and Daniel... all for what?

I caught up with Mikey on Sunday, and his words definitely reminded me of why both of us wanted to start Wild Manatee and why we stuck it out working in the food industry for so long, despite the terrible work environments, pay, lifestyle, etc... Working in a high-pressure restaurant kitchen at Daniel definitely skewed my idea of working in the industry in general and turned me off to staying long-term, but when I go back to my roots and convictions, the real reason why I even spent so much time, effort, and money pursuing this career was because at the end of the day, I really just love to feed people...Plus, baking is something I really really enjoy doing. There's gotta be a reason why God gave me this kind of heart and this kind of talent -- right?

I just hate having to really leave this all behind...it seems like it's been such a big part of me these past two years that stepping away from it completely is like seeing a part of me die. (er, disappear). AND I can't help but feel like if I do walk away from it, these past two years will have been a semi-waste. ALL of those hours and dollars spent in culinary school, learning how to make 298374 types of pastries&confections....ALL of my time in Taiwan, Nobu, DANIEL.... ALL of the skills I've gained, the burns I've gotten, the recipes I've perfected and the potential of even cooler ones waiting to be invented.... Where did it get me???? What was the point??? Should I continue forward in this track?? Should I not??

God, I feel frustrated, grieved, confused, and even a little heartbroken when I look at my life thus far and as I think about my future... Please, PLEASE, please, would you fill my heart with peace and really guide me in a clear direction so that I'm not so lost??

>___<

walking by faith

"Welcome, child," he said.
"Aslan," said Lucy, "you're bigger."
"That is because you are older, little one," answered he.
"Not because you are?"
"I am not. But every year you grow, you will find me bigger."
For a time she was so happy that she did not want to speak. But Aslan spoke.
"Lucy," he said, "we must not lie here for long. You have work in hand, and much time has been lost today."
"Yes, wasn't it a shame?" said Lucy. "I saw you all right. They wouldn't believe me.
They're all so---"
From somewhere deep inside Aslan's body there came the faintest suggestion of a growl.
"I'm sorry," said Lucy, who understood some of his moods. "I didn't mean to start slanging the others. But it wasn't my fault anyway, was it?"
The Lion looked straight into her eyes.
"Oh, Aslan," said Lucy. "You don't mean it was? How could I--I couldn't have left the others and come up to you alone, how could I? Don't look at me like that...oh well, I suppose I could. Yes, and it wouldn't have been alone, I know, not if I was with you. But what would have been the good?"
Aslan said nothing.
"You mean," said Lucy rather faintly, "that it would have turned out all right--somehow? But how? Please, Aslan! Am I not to know?"
"To know what would have happened, child?" said Aslan. "No. Nobody is ever told that."
"Oh dear," said Lucy.
"But anyone can find out what will happen," said Aslan.
-Prince Caspian, C.S. Lewis

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¹⁸ For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God. -- 1 Corinthians 1:18

(shoutout to Mallory for sharing the Narnia reference w/ me tonight)

gal pals

solid gal pals are so precious. so thankful for the ones I have ^_^