Tonight, Catherin and I had a long-awaited reunion hangout and dinner with our roommates from freshman/sophomore year. It's pretty shocking how quickly two years can fly by -- I almost feel like those memories that were brought up were from a different life. These girls were some of the first friends I made when I entered as a freshman, being my neighbors and all, and through the crazy Toys 'R Us + Chuck 'E Cheese outings, Bruno's pastries, movie marathons, secret santa parties, and outlet mall shopathons, we've accumulated quite the collection of inside jokes and embarrassing pictures. While Brittney was flipping through the pictures we took our freshman/sophomore year, I could barely even recognize myself in those pictures. It wasn't that my physical appearance looked that different; I simply couldn't remember who or how I was back then. What was I passionate about? Who did I consider my closest friends? Where did I envision my life going?
On the train ride back into Manhattan from Brooklyn, I looked at them and said "I expect to be receiving wedding invitations from all of you!" Man, that's such a scary statement. Since we'll be graduating this year and either moving back to our respective hometowns or staying in the city, our lives will rarely intersect in the future. The next time we meet after we graduate, who knows where each of us will be, or more importantly, who each of us will be. The memories of our college days will have been so faded in our minds that even pictures won't be enough to restore those moments.
This is something I have really been struggling with ever since senior year started. Life simply goes too fast, and I just can't keep up. Shoot, I'm only 21 but I feel like the pace of life grows at an exponential rate after you turn 20. Weddings, graduation, moving around, people coming in and out... The people and circumstances that surround me are constantly shifting, and I myself am transforming at the very same time.
I feel a giant disconnect in my past and my present, in the circles I am in now and were in back then, and I don't know how to reconcile that just yet.
3 comments:
let's go to chuck e cheeses! yeah!
A struggle that might not ever end if you keep looking back... unless you stop changing, which may or may not happen.
(I was going to write something more witty here, but I couldn't think of anything).
Struggle on?
genuine high five!
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